Autumn had come and there were a lot of leaves and twigs and stuff. I liked it though. It's my favorite part of the year."How do you know what sex smells like?" I wondered, but she ignored me. Or maybe I didn't say it that loud, since talking to a real girl felt sort of weird. It seemed a lot easier talking to Tiffany."How come you don't like me?" Huh?" I looked up and saw Candice staring at me.We'd stopped walking and stood beneath one of the old fashioned lamps that lit the street. She'd grown up a lot over the last year or so, turning sixteen just a month before and already filling out. She wasn't perfect like Tiffany, but real girls never are and some people thought that's what made real girls even better than the synthetic ones. It's like what my dad said once, "Imperfections are the proof of life." But I wasn't sure I understood what that meant.Candice wasn't perfect, I knew that. She had a pretty face, with high cheeks and one of those cute, upturned noses, but her eyes were. After Alice thanked me for helping her, I retreated into a smallemployee ladies room that was mostly used by the women who worked in thekitchen; once inside, I locked the door, pulled up my skirt, pulled downmy pantyhose and panties and sat down, staring glumly across the room atmy reflection in the mirror. My hair still looked rather cute, and myfloppy bowtie still looked charming, but it soon dawned on me as I beganto tinkle that since this was a single-use ladies' room, and that I hadlocked myself inside, there really was no reason why I couldn't havestood to pee this time. I had done so solely out of habit borne ofusing the stalls of public ladies rooms, where it was necessary for anyprying eyes to see my toes pointing away from the toilet. As theprocess of urination had already begun, I was forced to remain in myseat until my bladder was successfully voided, allowing me plenty oftime for the metaphor of this squatting potty break to sink in: I wasfar too committed to living.
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